Body language tells others just as much as our words do. Whether stressed, anxious, tired, afraid or happy, our posture, actions, and expressions send silent signals to the people around us. 

This can be helpful. For example, if your child is stressed and upset, being able to read it in their body language helps you to help them. Once you’re aware, you can offer comfort and guidance to help them feel better. 

But what about other situations? Whether you have an important meeting at work or need to show your children how to face new challenges confidently, sometimes you need to be able to fake it. 

The good news is that with a few simple techniques, you can radiate relaxation and confidence – and maybe even help yourself feel that way. 

At BLOOM, we offer online courses tailored with practical strategies to help you and your family thrive. Discover flexible learning designed to help you grow at your own pace. Courses include overcoming anxiety and stress, managing emotions, and even staying regulated in the workplace.

Why Relaxed Body Language Matters

Learning to look relaxed isn't just about appearances. Cultivating a sense of calm and confidence – even if only on the outside at first – can help you navigate stressful situations more effectively.

Effective body language makes you appear more confident to others, which can help you build trust and foster stronger relationships. And when others see you as confident, it can get easier to feel that way yourself.

Relaxation techniques can help relieve symptoms of anxiety and stress, which enables you to communicate better and approach challenges with focus and clarity.

How to Look Confident and Relaxed in Four Steps

With the right technique, you can appear calm and confident. 

Follow this simple, four-step process to look and feel more relaxed on command. 

Step 1. Keep Your Shoulders Down and Your Eyebrows Relaxed

What’s the most obvious sign that somebody is stressed or anxious? Their shoulders. When you're feeling tense or anxious, your shoulders naturally tense up and hunch towards your ears in a defensive posture.

So if you want to look relaxed, you must do the opposite. Relaxing your shoulders signals openness and ease to others and your subconscious.

Here’s how: 

Stand in front of a mirror, and imagine a string pulling gently down from your shoulder blades towards the ground. 

Feel the tension release as your shoulders relax into a comfortable position. 

Next, focus on your facial expression. Think of your eyebrows as the punctuation marks of your face. Are yours raised, making you look surprised or concerned? Or are they scrunched up with tension? 

Take a few moments to relax them into a more neutral position, and feel how the tense muscles in your face relax as a result.

Step 2. Open Up Your Arms (and Your Heart)

If you’re feeling uncomfortable, you may have unconsciously crossed your arms. This gesture is often misunderstood as a defensive posture, but that’s not entirely true. More often than not, it’s actually a form of self-soothing, like a hug. 

With that said, crossing your arms can send signals that you’re tense or uncomfortable. So if you catch yourself doing it, try and relax your arms at your sides, or lightly rest them on a table or chair. Also, avoid fidgeting with your hands – another indicator of stress.

To practice, while sitting, imagine that you’re holding an invisible beach ball between your hands This gesture helps you keep your arms open in an inviting pose. As a result, you’ll appear more relaxed and approachable.

3. Face the Other Person Square On

If you’re nervous while speaking to somebody, it can be easy to unconsciously shut down communication by turning away from them. This suggests to others that you are disinterested, which makes it difficult to forge a genuine connection. 

Start projecting confidence from the first meeting. Offer them a firm, confident handshake.A strong handshake – without squeezing too hard – and a warm smile convey confidence and professionalism, setting a good tone for future interactions. 

Then, while you’re talking, position your body squarely toward the person you’re speaking with instead of turning away. This shows them that you’re engaged and listening with your full attention. 

4. Take a Moment to Catch Your Breath

Despite our best efforts, sometimes we get flustered during a conversation, presentation, or other difficult situation. And once you realize you’re getting nervous, it’s easy to fixate on that feeling. 

So, if this ever happens to you, take a moment to regain your composure. If possible, excuse yourself to get a drink, visit the restroom, or another simple task. This gives you time to catch your breath and regain control of your nerves. 

Next, try and regulate your breathing. Here’s how you can do it, while someone else is doing the talking: 

1. Close your eyes.
2. Take a deep breath in through your nose while counting to four.
3. Pause.
4. Count to six and exhale slowly through your mouth.

Repeat this process several times until you feel more relaxed.

Look and Feel More Relaxed and Confident

Looking relaxed isn't just about appearing calm and collected. It’s about building confidence and ease to conquer any difficult situation.

By paying attention to your body and consciously relaxing yourself, you can enhance your communication skills, build stronger relationships, and easily overcome stressful situations. 

The next time you find yourself feeling anxious or stressed, remember these simple tips and take a moment to relax your body and mind. You'll be amazed at the difference it can make.