Why Do Tantrums Happen?

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Whether your child has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, a post-traumatic stress disorder, or they have had moments of big emotions; most parents have experienced some child tantrums by the time their child is three years old. Many parents have even experienced extreme tantrums at home and in public. 

Tantrums can rock your world and have the ability to crash the entire day. When you find yourself standing back, scratching your head, wondering what to do, and desperately wanting the tantrum event to end–remember there are many other parents and supporters in your corner. Solidarity friends!

Don’t run for the hills just yet! That is right; we suggest that UNBOOK that one-way ticket for one to Florida…really, please do.

Tantrums often leave you with many questions. One of the biggest is “what should I do?” or “how should I respond?” This blog will discuss why children have tantrums and helpful tips for dealing with your child’s next tantrum.

Why Do Children Have Tantrums?

Keeping it simple helps deflate a tantrum, rather than draw it out. Trying to reason with a child that’s not being reasonable is very difficult–it’s really part of a bigger picture. 

Many have been in this situation in public, and we know how embarrassing it can feel when your child is screaming loud enough in Target to be heard in the Walmart a town away. At the moment, we just want it to end. It is hard to stay calm, stable, and consistent. Try to keep the long-term goal in mind. The goal is to extinguish this behavior. Swallowing your pride is key. Continue to be firm. Take deep breaths. While you may feel embarrassed, remind yourself that you are not the first parent to have a child having a public tantrum.

How to Deal With Tantrums

If not engaging in negative behaviors is new to you, it may seem like a big change. Here are a few simple steps to follow to help you deal with tantrums when they do happen.

  1. Become aware of how you currently deal with negative behaviors. Start to notice what happens in your home or public when a negative behavior presents itself. Awareness should always come first. 
  2. Establish your realistic goals for behaviors. What would you like to see change? Your child will still have strong emotions. When they arise, what would you like to see happen? 
  3. When a situation arises, take action by regulating yourself first. Breathe deeply to calm and stabilize yourself. 
  4. If firm and repetitive self-regluation doesn’t work, there are countless ways to problem-solve tantrums and toolkits and courses to reference on BLOOM.
  5. Recognize yourself for your hard work. Treat yourself to some much-deserved self-care.
  6. Finally, it’s okay. You have our permission to re-book that trip to Florida, but please come back! Rest assured, your child’s tantrum is not a measure of your competence as a parent. It is simply a reactive response.

Expert Help With Tantrums

Tantrums are a normal part of many parents' experiences with their children as they learn to regulate their emotions and reactive responses. At BLOOM, we provide proven strategies to help struggling families enjoy their children again. It’s more than just treating symptoms: we support families and children everywhere, providing unique resources to meet you at your point of need. 

Book a discovery call with us today to learn more. 

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